The 2013 Darwin Awards Are Out!
The Darwins Are Out!!!!
2013
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to
his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also
lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t
discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and
hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a
man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
“Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The
frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than
he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he
plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was
the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with
friends and family…. unless of course one of these individuals by chance
is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they
are distant and hope they remain lost.
*****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
And with those thoughts it is now Christmas Eve. I know that as it is sundown and the Christmas Tree is up...
So must be Christmas - better open a bottle of wine .....
Had amazing Hail storms today - but not had the opportunity to process the film - maybe tomorrow - not sure if anything is happening tomorrow ?? Oh Yes Bethan has a birthday !!! Should be quiet except for that ....
Cheers !!!
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