April 1st 2015 - April Fools !!!

Thought for the day :" Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me...... "

And so from my friend and occasional diarist Roger Morgan - the Barber Surgeon..
A short tale about mobile phones and Curry

Now, the lesson today is that modern mobile phones do not survive immersion in curry terribly well. You see, what happened was that on the way home from my daily toil at the heritage factory I decided to call in Morrisons to pick up a couple of bottles of bleach to cleanse the tent of mould and various stains (don't ask) before the season starts. 

Right? So far, so good. Whilst I was worshiping at this altar of retail excellence I thought that I would take tea there and then to save mucking about at home and took my place in the culinary cathedral that is known as 'the caff' ordering up my delight of sausage, egg and chips. (Oh yes, I bet you're all drooling now). 

Anyway, across the way, and directly in my line of sight, was mother and daughter and mum was chowing down on what appeared to be a curry, half and half. Half curry, half God knows what. It was yellow anyway. And while she was eating, well she'd call it eating, to be honest it was more akin to shovelling coal into the firebox of a Great Western steam engine, she was blathering on her mobile. 

Then, presumably on finding an actual piece of chicken in the homage to Sellafield, she dropped the phone into the curry with a deadening 'splodge'!
"aw bluddy 'ell" said mother.
"aw bluddy 'ell" echoed daughter covered in yellow splashes." Wod 'ew do tha' for"?
"I dunt know do I, bluddy 'ell".
"Fetch it out" suggested the daughter helpfully " yewsa fork".
"I'm nor yewsin 'a fork, bluddy 'ell, yew dads gonna kill me, iss new."
"Look fetch it out viv dis" proclaimed daughter stabbing at the sinking instrument with a knife.
"Nor, dunt do that id'll........"
At this point a helpful gent entered the fray not on a white charger with gleaming sword wheeling about his noble bonce, but brandishing a spoon. With a flourish worthy of any of the 3 musketeers he hoisted the dying phone onto a spread paper napkin where, gazed upon by concerned onlookers and having performed on it telephonagraphic CPR by wiping it's speaker free of curry, it breathed it's last words.

" ello? ello? Wov ew done now yer dozy bugge'.............." and with these fading words it passed into mobile phone heaven.

So, the moral is gentle readers. Don't talk on your mobile whilst eating a curry. Or at least have a biryani where the phone has a fighting chance of survival. The end, finis. Good knight....sorry, I mean night.

Thank you Roger...

Heading back from the South Coast today and off for Easter to the Unicorns...