Thought for the day: "To the 'Powers that Be', my prayer for 2015 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don't mix it up like you did this year!"
As the year comes to an end -
Car put away safely - will not be out until 2015!!
A tale for not driving on New Year's Eve... A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says , I
clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’The driver says , ‘Gee, officer ,
I had it on cruise control at 60 ; perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating.’ Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly, dear — you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’ As
the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls,’Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once !!?’ The
wife smiles demurely and says, ‘Well dear you should be thankful your
radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been even
higher.’ As the officer makes out the second ticket for
the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth, ‘Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?’ The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic fine.’ The
driver says, ‘Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back pocket.’ The wife says, ‘Now, dear, you know very
well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat
belt when you’re driving.’ And as the police officer is
writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,
‘WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’ The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am ?’ ‘Only when he’s been drinking.’
May you receive what you wish for in 2015 - Cheers!!
Thought for the day: "As we come up to New Years Eve, I reflect that if you spent last year worrying and thinking about the evils of drinking, it is time to give up thinking"
Sad to say, another day drifted by leaving me with insufficient time to add to my daily blog. In many senses this is probably right, as it is better to glimpse the blog and see that the man had nothing to say - rather than plough through pages to find the same thing..!
So I will add a picture for the New Year..
And say - let's get ready for the last day of the year ....
Thought for the day: "Saint Nicholas is the main Clause. His wife is a relative Clause. His children are dependent Clauses. Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause. Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses." Grammar lesson over !
Back home, and waiting for the central heating to take on the 5 day absence of heat in the house. Cold! We have an extra heater on in the living room, but the cold air still comes through the windows.
If you are thinking of buying my house - It is very warm and cosy here in Llanelli !!
If you are not - then it is blooming cold !!!
Been a bit spoiled by a wood burning fire for a few says and a house that allows one fire to heat the whole presence ... We are living in zones here ..
But, back to home and a glass of Chateau 41.... Nice!!
Thought for the day : "The most popular wine at Christmas is “Do I have to eat my Brussel sprouts?”
We almost had snow last night. The Book of Faces showed maps of weather fronts passing across the country. Friends posted pictures of snow laden ground. But nothing here.
When I say nothing, I mean there was wind and rain. The wind was pretty extreme and lying in the Bothy over night the van swayed and shook, reminiscent of lying in a canal boat. Better than lying in a tent! The temperature was pretty low but the Wolf Blankets and duvets were welcoming, and there is something nice about being tucked up safe and sound while the tempest blows outside.
It is a little like sitting in front of an open fire while the rain hammers down upon the windows. Especially if you know that there is no reason to go out. There is food in the larder and booze in the cellar. It doesn't have to be a real cellar of course. Just a store for Wine.
Of course, not all cellars are what they seem!
Our last house was an interesting pile. The house was called "Old Surveyors" It had started as a series of Surveyor's cottages alongside the old market square or fairground called Cae Ffair. We always thought that it was Mary's Square because the Welsh for Mary ends up as Fair (pronounced "Vire") but the extra "F" showed that it was really the old market or Fair Ground.
Over the years, the little set of five cottages that formed a square with a washroom (which ended up in next door's garden) found other uses. One turned into the double garage. One ended up as a Granny Flat. Two others, nearest the remainder of the house were converted into a bathroom and kitchen.
This is all a little difficult to explain - so I drew some pictures...
The two on the right were in next door's garden. We understood that there was a listing on the washroom - but when it was later bought to turn into a nursing home, it got demolished very early.
So a small group of cottages, all single storey.
Now I don't know the dates - I could probably check them .. but I am not skilled in that area. I know some friends in Llanelli Historical Society who may well be able to fill in the details sometime in the future. Susie would be able to check the census to find when the road appeared..
But suffice to say that there was a group of cottages, and at some time, a terrace of houses was built along the road...
The house that we are interested in is No 6, as that was where we lived. Rumours tell us that at one time it was a bawdy house and boarding house for the local theatre and various artists had stayed there in the past, including some well know ones...including Dorothy Squires... But as the terrace was pushed along the road, it made sense to knock through from the back of No 6 into the first cottage to extend the living/sitting room. We have no idea at what date this was done!.
But by the time that we got into the house, the gap making the "L" shape of the building had been filled in with another two storey section.
When we decided to knock through ourselves, we found that this was a single brick thickness, and not a cavity wall extension, presumably put together as it could not be seen from the road at all!... We were sure it was completely illegal and against building regs - so we left it as it was!!
It looked quite unassuming from the front - but was deceptive in its size at the rear.
We took the eccentricity a step further when we decided to knock through a couple more walls to make this multi-occupancy building a family home - our proudest moment being when we decided to place a large wardrobe between two sections of the house - requiring a walk through the wardrobe to pass between the children's bedrooms....
But we were talking about the structure of the house... The development of the building through its various stages meant that it was a structure of different levels... The terrace at the front, including the "new" extension was all a standard two storey building. The living room was single storey, as was the kitchen to the rear. Then, as the bathroom was formed out of the next cottage, (access through the kitchen), there was a requirement to have a header tank to store and heat the water and for that reason another extension was put above the bathroom.
Let me show with an example...
The aerial photography gives a glimpse of this but not very clearly...
It is just possible to see the raised section above the bathroom....
So, apart from recounting a very strange domicile..... what is the relevance to the current festivities???
Well... we were always confused by the strange decision to go from single to dual storey all along the house...
We worked out the reason though.... We decided that some drunken Irish Navvies probably built the house and that they read the blueprints upside down!!!
Therefore it should have been single storey all the way along, with a cellar!!
And so it was, that the room above the bathroom, which doubled as Susie's sewing room, (and we will not mention the ghost - that is a story for another time), and so it was that this room was always known and referred to as the "Cellar"
Many were the confused visitors who were told that they would be going into the cellar and opening the door in the kitchen expected the stairs to go down!!! Not in our house !!!
Our cellar was upstairs, and just as good a place to keep wine as any other cellar thank you very much..
And with those few words, and a short explanation of one of the stranger houses in Llanelli, I shall pop out to the Bothy, which for the purposes of our visit is currently doubling as the current cellar, and has the wine cooling in the boot storage. No Chateau 41 on this occasion, I think it will be Isla Negra - well it was on offer !! And we wouldn't want to share the good stuff!!
Thought for the day: "If you are afraid of Santa Claus... are you claustrophobic??"
There are meals and there are meals. And there are banquets it must be said. Sitting down to Christmas Dinner with 13 around the table - (no, I suggested a plate for Banquo's Ghost but there was insufficient room to squeeze another seat into the room), and the food keeps coming.
My son in law, let's call him Stuart to protect the innocent, posted on the Book of Faces a comment that he seemed to be part of a growing group of men who were preparing the traditional meal. And from the responses it seems to be a more popular male pastime than I recall in my earlier days. Not one I have ever really subscribed too. I enjoy eating. And drinking.. that too!! ... and I am a pretty good short order chef when it comes to breakfasts in particular. But the hours of preparation and work that is the creation of Christmas Dinner - or any major banquet, leave me fairly cold.
However, in this household, the question whether 17 separate veg would be excessive captures the spirit of the moment. In fact I think we bottomed out on 13 or 14, and, like Banquo's portions, was more due to lack of space upon the table. A discussion regarding four types of gravy settled into a single Turkey Gravy, but with additional white sauce, bread sauce and some other thing that was probably creamed sweetcorn.... Two turkeys, but we did start on the second, so I suppose they were justified. Though most of this re-appeared in the delicious pie we devoured today, it being Boxing Day.
There are difficulties in keeping all of this veg warm. Indeed, the Broccoli was too cold by the time it had stood on the table and was dispatched to the Micro-wave to reheat... Sad to say - we did not find it until this morning when a cup of tea needed restoring to life in the Microwave!! I think the chickens enjoyed it. Personally, I am not that fond of Brocolli, and have difficulty in recognising it in the wild, particularly the sprouting sort... (They weren't Brussells Sprouts!! - BLOG 25th Jan) so I did not see this as much of a draw back, but strangely my Grandchildren seem to like it!! Must get it from the other side of the family !!!
So, several hours in the preparation..... Half an hour in the demolition... And an hour in the clearing up. But a full stomach is a good feeling for Christmas. No Chateau 41 here, but a reasonably priced rose for the lighter part for the meal and a few glasses of scotch afterwards (purely for ease of digestion don't you know) and a Game of Cards Against Humanity....
Yes, if you have not played Cards Against Humanity then your Christmas is not complete. Go out and buy some straight away... But best play after the Children and great Grandparents have gone to bed .. Trust Me !!!!
Santa is a Yorkshire man Of this I'm fairly sure I heard him tiptoe in mi room At roughly ten to four "I 'ope tha's fast asleep" he said "Or tha'll get nowt mi lad" He smelled of Hi Karate (Must 'av nicked it from mi dad) Just downstairs I'd left a treat Santa likes a beer He loves pork pie and single malt (That wa' dads idea!) When I woke next morning I ran downstairs to see If Santa had been kind enough To leave gifts under tree He got our mam a nightie And a pair of China pigs Our dad got socks n undies And 200 park lane cigs My sister got a Barbie Sat on a plastic horse A 1D annual Which she loved of course When I unwrapped my parcels My Yorkshire heart did sing Each gift that Santa gave me A truly wondrous thing A flat cap for mi noggin A vest of finest string The ferret keepers handbook Each gift fit for a King! So thank you Santa thank you You surely are a Tyke But can you please remember Next year I'd like a bike!
Nuff Said - I am with my family so no time for Blogging today ..
Cheers
Thought for the day: " Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his trousers off!"
Today, Santa passed through the sky just after 5.25pm, and my grandchildren were able to see him passing through... I missed it as I was checking the contents of the "Bothy" - for which you may read that I was taking a well needed nap, but due to the wonders of technology, the distant lights of the sleigh passing over was clearly visible to the naked eye.
Local papers tell me ...
To get around the world tonight Santa’s sleigh will have to travel pretty fast - though it is not clear whether even reindeer-power will reach a speed of 17,500 miles an hour. But that is how fast the International Space Station will be travelling when it makes a spectacular pass over South West Wales on Christmas Eve.
The spacecraft’s flight path means it will be very bright in the sky, and with a cloud-free forecast for this evening it should put on quite a seasonal show — for children of all ages.
Of course NORAD have been doing a lovely job for years.
NORAD's Santa Tracker is an annual Christmas tradition that began back in December 1955, when a straight-laced military man decided to be a good sport in response to a newspaper typo that prompted kids to call his top-secret hotline.
As the story goes, Sears Roebuck & Co. had placed an advertisement in a Colorado Springs newspaper telling kids to call a phone number so they could talk to Santa.
However, the number was wrong.
Instead of Santa, the five-year-old child who called the number seeking the man in the red suit got Col. Harry Shoup, the operations commander at the Continental Air Defence Command in Colorado.
The hotline was meant for calls from generals, or even the U.S. president, so the colonel was taken aback and thought somebody was playing a trick on him.
Asked by the young voice on the line if he was one of Santa's helpers, the military man finally figured it was a child calling.
Many more calls came in to that wrong number, leading the colonel to call a local radio station and say: "We have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh!" Kids who called the military phone were given updates by Shoup's staff.
From that beginning, the NORAD Santa Tracker operation now fields more than 100,000 phone calls that keep 1,200 volunteers busy on Christmas Eve. The Santa Tracker website gets more than 20 million visitor.
But my Christmas Eve is surrounded by coughs and splutters, as my extended family recover from their various cold and fly symptoms. A Ninja 'Thena is lying upon a black carpet and blends into the background as people insist on putting the cookies and carrot on the floor by the fireplace - a space clearly defined as 'Thena Tummy Filler Zone...
I think a second glass of Gin and tonic is called for ...
So - A Merry Christmas to all and to all a Merry Christmas ...
May Santa bring you what you wish and not be too cheesed off by his biscuits being snaffled by a over active labrador....
Thought for the day : "I met a youngster who did not believe in Santa this morning ... He was a rebel without a Claus."
Up the M4 again. Christmas with the family ....
Not much to say really ..... So just a thought .... Cheers!
Thought for the day : "Christmas is like a day at the office... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.."
Well Christmas is nearly here, and Sunday saw a quick trip to the Star Hotel in Llanelli for the Open Mike Christmas session. Rumours of some nibbles and refreshments were misplaced, but there was quite a good turn out of various regular artists, and a couple of new faces...
And so - for you delectation - Santa's Lost his Trousers - Vollsanger style ..
Thought for the day : "Why are the things sent by car called shipments and things sent by ship cargo?"
So, Winter Solstice. December 21st (Actually may be the 22nd next year apparently as the hours changes each year.) Last year's arrived at 17:11. Next year's will at 04:38. This year will be 23.03.
It would seem logical that after the shortest day has elapsed the
mornings would start getting lighter earlier, but this isn't what
happens - the mornings continue darkening until early in the new year. Apparently sunrise will be a few minutes later by 31st December when it all starts turning around properly. Apparently Sunset will also fail to start getting later until January.
So what is behind this peculiarity, which appears to fly in the face
of received wisdom about the solstice - surely the shortest day should
experience the latest sunrise and earliest sunset?
Well, the primary reason behind it all is that a day - a solar day to be precise - is not always exactly 24 hours.
In fact, it is 24 hours only four times a year, and never in
December, I read in fellow blogger's "The Science Geek." It is at its shortest around 23
hours 59 minutes and 30 seconds, in early September, and at its longest
around 24 hours 30 seconds in December.
The sun lags behind the clock for part of the year, then speeds ahead of it for another. We use 24 hours, the average over the whole year, for all
timekeeping purposes.
So, as the solar days in December are on average 24 hours
and 30 seconds, while our clocks and watches are still assuming that
each day is exactly 24 hours, this causes the day to shift about 30
seconds later each day.
This cumulative shifting explains why the evenings draw in
towards their earliest sunset a couple of weeks before the shortest day,
and why the mornings continue to get darker until a couple of weeks
after.
So, I think this means a few more minutes drinking up time !!!
A good thing the clocks were always at a quarter to eleven in the Crimson Moon...
Thought for the day : "A gentleman is a person who can play the accordion - but doesn't "
I have of course been challenged on this statement by a friend who points out that the definition of a Scottish Gentleman is "A man who can play the Bagpipes... But doesn't". I think they are probably both valid...
But today reported the death of a local lass who ended up notorious..Pontyates born .. Mandy Rice-Davies.
Mandy Rice-Davies
Pontyates is just up the road from us here in Llanelli. But that is not the reason why I have noted it today..
She had moved to Birmingham at a very young age with her parents but
Rice-Davies would regularly visit Pontyates, sometimes serving in the
newsagents her grandparents ran.
"Mandy Rice-Davies, the Pontyates-born former showgirl who was at the heart of one of British politics' most dramatic sex scandals has lost her battle with cancer aged 70, 24th October 1944 -18th December 2014 "
Christine Keeler
The Profumo Affair in 1963 drew worldwide infamy and threatened to collapse Harold Macmillan's government. Rice-Davies had been living with her friend Christine Keeler in London, who together attended regular sex parties arranged by osteopath Stephen Ward at the home of Lord Astor.
Profumo
The women claimed Keeler had been having an affair with the War Minister John Profumo. She was also said to be having a secret relationship with a Soviet defence attache Yevgeny Ivanov. At the height of Cold War tensions these were allegations which shook the British establishment to its core. Profumo denied the allegations in the House of Commons.
Rice-Davies testified at the high-profile trial of Stephen Ward, an
osteopath who was charged with living off the immoral earnings of her
and Keeler, which exposed a web of intrigue involving the upper echelons
of society. Ward took an overdose the night before a guilty verdict was returned, and died days later.
Rice-Davies famously claimed she was having an affair with Lord Astor, which he denied.
When told he had denied the affair, she answered: "Well he would, wouldn't he?", a line which ended up in the Oxford Book of Quotations.
Rice-Davies later said she regretted that the events of 1963 ever took place but always maintained that her claims were entirely true. She denied that she was ever a prostitute.
Rice-Davies went on to marry Israeli businessman Rafi Shauli and open nightclubs and restaurants in Tel Aviv.She married three times, tying the knot with her third husband, businessman Ken Foreman, in 1988.
But that is not the reason for my story...
Her story: 'I dropped out of school just before my 16th birthday, and went to work in Marshall and Snellgrove, Birmingham's closest equivalent to Harrods.
'I asked my father if I could leave home and go to London. He said no, so I plotted my escape and went anyway. My biggest fear was living a drab, boring life. Well, I certainly didn't end up doing that.
'I was still only 16 when I became a dancer at Murray's Cabaret Club, and there I met a showgirl called Christine Keeler. It was dislike at first sight.
'Within days she tried to sabotage me by stealing the top to my stage costume. In the end she relented and threw it back to me just in time for the performance.
'We [later] became firm friends. She was good fun and knew scores of people. She was 19 to my 16.
'Then, one day, Christine said she wanted to introduce me to someone, and that is how I met Stephen Ward.
'Stephen was erudite and witty with an easy charm, and artistic, too, drawing the portraits of the many prominent people he knew.
'By the standards of the day, he was also dangerous: he loved the company of women and took not a blind bit of notice of the prevailing moral code.
'I had agreed to pay Stephen £6 a week rent to stay in [his] house, money that, later, the prosecution would insinuate I was giving to Stephen by way of immoral earnings.
'Then everything fell apart. First came the attempted shooting of Christine by a West Indian drug dealer, Johnny Edgecombe, at Wimpole Mews [west London]. I was there at the time.
'Amid claims that Christine's intimacy with the two men presented a security risk, Profumo chose to deny the affair to the House of Commons – a disastrous lie that led to his disgrace and, eventually, the demise of Harold Macmillan's Conservative Government.
'When I heard that Stephen was to be prosecuted for living off immoral earnings, my first thought was: 'They've got to be kidding.' He was also accused of allowing an abortion to take place at his London house, which was equally unbelievable.
'In June 1963, Stephen was arrested, refused bail, and appeared at Marylebone Magistrates' Court, where Christine and I were called as witnesses.
'It was the height of Cold War spy fever, fuelled by the James Bond movie Dr No and the recent defection of Kim Philby, following Burgess and Maclean to the Soviet Union.
'I think that the Government was eager to shift attention away from security risks – however far-fetched – and on to the shenanigans of the 'fast set'.
'There could be no better way of doing this than by putting Stephen's louche lifestyle on trial.
'Then there was the unstoppable rise of youth culture. The likes of Tommy Steele and Cliff Richard were seriously considered a subversive influence on the nation!
'On July 31, Stephen was found guilty on two counts of living off immoral earnings.
'Already characterised in the most vile terms possible by the prosecution, the judge's summing up drove him to suicide before the verdict could be announced.
'My parents bore the scandal with remarkable stoicism and stood right by me. As my father had been a policeman, his policeman's nose was twitching from the very beginning of the whole sorry business.
'He knew a stitch-up when he saw one.
'Fortunately, there was a life after the scandal and a good one, too. Although shattered by the circus of the trial, I was determined to overcome the stigma.
But that is not the reason for my story..
My story is about a song.. and song writing!!
For in 1963 I was 8 years old, and my family decided to take a holiday in Portugal. Now, mine was a family that believed in holidays. My parents decided that they would save up during the year, and rather than change the three piece suite or buy something special, they would be extravagant with holidays. We were never a family for organised trips, package tours, or cruises. We were a family for foreign holidays and exploration.
1963, the gate from Gibraltar to Spain was open. Means little to many at the moment, but for many years there was no way to get from Gib into Spain. But 1963 saw the opportunity. It was probably possible to fly to Portugal. I do not know. But I think the main theme of holidays in those days was to travel as far, and as long as possible on the smallest amount of money - with no real plan for how long that would be. My assumption is that it was cheaper to fly to the British Airport in Gib, and hire a car, drive all the way across Spain and into Portugal, than other alternatives... And that was what we did.
I do not know if landing in Gibraltar by plane is as scary as it was in those days. The runway ran out into the sea and crossed the main rad, but dropping down in a Viscount was a sight for an 8 year old boy.
I do not recall much of the trip to Portugal across Spain. Other than the fact that the car had a leaky radiator, and needed to be filled with water every 50 miles or so. Which meant a stop at a cafe or shop. The purchase of a bottle of Coca Cola for my sister and me, and the begging of enough water to fill the radiator. I seem to remember a very long journey. I am sure it must have been punctuated by frequent comfort stops!
We crossed into Portugal and came to a very luxurious hotel, named the Vasco da Gama. I had no idea who he was at that time, but later discovered him to be a famous explorer/ seafarer, the first European to discover India. But the important thing for me was that there were porters and doormen on the main doors. And they opened the doors for an 8 year old boy in swimming trunks to let him out to the swimming pool. This was like royalty! I think we stayed there two days - which probably cost as much as the flight over - but it was a hint of real luxury.
Then we travelled further to a village called Praia da Rocha. I recall it as a quaint village, and I must have been young because I remember playing football on the beach with local Portuguese lads and my father, of whom I have no recollections of enjoying the "beautiful" game!
"So what has all this to do with Mandy Rice-Davies, Christine Keeler and John Profumo?" I can hear you ask...
Well!. Eric Sewell, my father, was the Parliamentary Correspondent for the Daily Mail. And on the day that the story started breaking, I understand that an English Newspaper was sent to the small hotel in which we were staying, and an instruction that he take the next flight back to England to cover the story. At the time, this was not explained to me. In fact it was many years later that I found out that it was a directive from the Daily Mail, rather than the choice of my father, to return. As far as I was always concerned, it was in character for my father to sniff a story, and drop everything to make sure that it was covered properly, and by properly, he mean't by him !!!
And so, when the Profumo case broke, we were bundled back into our battered old hire car, days earlier than expected, and my sister and I were force-fed more coca-cola as we drove, like an early 60's Wacky Races crossed with the Cannonball Run, through Spain and back to Rock of Gibraltar. And from there to the cold of and English night..
As we drove back, and was the usual custom on our holidays, we broke into song. It was not a particularly good song. In fact it was a particularly bad song. It was not an original song. But it was a song with new words to an old and established song.. Does any of this sound familiar?? It is possibly on that journey, at the age of eight, that my proclivity for butchering established classics and adding my own words started....
And to the tune of "Oh Mr Porter" we sang..
"Oh Mr Profumo
What did you do??
We have to leave old Portugal
And it's all because of you..
Take us back to Blighty
As quickly as you can..
Oh Mr Profumo
What a nasty Man you am !!"
In fairness, I do not think the rhymes have improved over the years either.. But that is the reason I am writing today. The death of a Pontyates lassie commemorates for me, what was possibly the start of my musical career.... They have a lot to answer for !!
Thought for the day: "Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds - I am surprised that he has survived this long!!"
Enjoyed an evening with some open mike friends yesterday evening. Among the songs for the festive period, I came across this one, from a Native American take on Christmas .. I enjoyed and thought I would share...
Thanks to Karen and Ray for this one..
Stuck In The Smoke Hole Of Our Tipi
Written and performed by Oldhands
There’s a funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
There’s a funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Grandma’s skinning his deer, and Grandpa’s cooking up the meat
From the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Auntie’s taking his boots, and Uncle’s stripping down the sleigh
Of the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ching, ching, ching, sound of money coming in
From the pawning of the toys
From the funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Ho, Ho, Ho, he thinks he’s talking Indian
No, No, No, ain’t no way we’ll let him in
Want no funny fat man in a silly red suit
Stuck in the smoke hole of our tipi
Busy day today, getting rooms sorted for my sister to fly across form USA and off to Lampeter for the Annual Christmas visit to Peterwell Lodge...
Thought for the day : "How to find Will Smith in the snow ??? Look for Fresh Prints!!"
Today, I turned the clocks back quite a way.. Today I filled the car up with diesel and the pump read 99p a litre!!! No, it was not a mistake or a gimmick.. Well it may be a gimmick, in that it was the good old Tesco Petrol offer, which gives you 2p off a litre for every £50 you spend. So I was entitled to the maximum 20p a litre off as I have spent a lot in Tesco. With the fuel prices falling to 119p a litre I broke the £1 mark..
I have not sat down to work out whether I spent over the top in Tesco to get this offer. I suppose I am cynical enough to guess that there are no free lunches and the reduction in fuel is paid for elsewhere, but I have been fairly careful in my shopping and concentrating on special offers. I agree that I would not normally have bought a dozen litres of scotch, but I think it unlikely that they will drop below £15 a litre again in the near future
But for me it turned the clocks back and I filled the car with less of a heavy heart than usual..
My day got better with a Christmas Concert for the Llys Caradog Children's Centre in local Llwynhendy.
They have changed this place dramatically form the last time I visited - probably over 20 years ago, when it was a children's home - mainly for "disturbed" and vulnerable children. I used to call there as the local police constable due to problems for the home, the children or residents in the area. Sometime Crime, but usually emotional disturbances which, to be honest, we did not really understand back in those days.
But now, the center is transformed, but sadly the story telling and singing could not be held in the sensory garden as it was very wet, and so we went to Helo Goffa School, where I was joined by friend Lazarus Long, a story teller of repute, to entertain our young charges....
Dressed fully as Vollsanger - I approached my audience..
In fairness, the 20-30 youngsters, aged maybe 8 to 14, came in with carers, and sat in a large circle on their chairs, and the carers managed to get them settled and quiet..... I started my act by introducing myself, and then, looking at the large box in the corner labelled "NOISY INSTRUMENTS", suggested everyone get up and grab the noisiest thing they could find to bang, blow, thump, or hit.... Which they did!
It was the loudest rendition of the "Green One" that I have ever heard, but they seemed to enjoy... Following with the "Ladies of the Harem" and "When I fist Came to this Land" and then quieting them down with "Puff the Magic Dragon" ready for sitting quiet;y for Lazarus and his tale of the Pixieth Birthday Party...
When they came back to me - "Santa's lost his trousers" went down fairly well and another chors of the Green One with full drum and tamborines - and that was about it...
All things considered I think it went very well
May be there is something in this Children's Entertainment - though I think it is pretty hard work !!!
An evening in the Queen Vic with Llanelli Folk Club and the day is at an end...
Thought for the day: "Last week I went to a very emotional wedding.. Even the cake was in tiers!"
A day of little action. Started clearing the basement. I say this as being that I brought some stuff up from the basement to put into the living room ready for transfer to the warehouse. This left us enough room to dispatch the Chickens - but means that the transfer has started - however slowly ...
4 chickensdown so far - Susie having to sit down to pluck them - but managing to complete the job. One this evening over 6lb a real monster.. Almost a Turkey...
'Thena as full of energy as ever - attacking the beach and Burry Port Sea Walk ...
Fish and Chips and a bottle of Chateau 41, Game of Thrones - and a Children's Party in the morning
Best practice "Santa Lost his Trousers" have not sung it for 30 years !!!
Thought for the day : "Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they are going to Pay! They have my Word!"
Down the M4 again ! Over the years, the M4 has represented the start and the finish of many business trips. The sad part of living in Wales is that it takes a couple of hours to get out of the courty before you start heading off to any venue.
In this case, it was a trip down to Penarth for the Chiropractor for Susie, who remains severely limited in her activities. An opportunity to throw the ball for 'Thena in the local park but it takes most of the day.
An evening in Mark Masonry and the day has gone..
A glass of wine ( no not Chateau 41, I bought a bottle at the festive board but only drank one glass over dinner so a chance to sup some riocha - to be honest I can take it or leave it.)
So, a wish to everyone for the evening and maybe an early night.
Tried to cut out the dairy yesterday - no cheese and biscuits before bed - and found that the cough did not raise itself overnight. Will try again tonight and see if it is really having an effect. Still got a sore throat - but that could be my snoring...
Thought for the day: "Women only call me ugly until they find out how much I earn!! Then they call me poor and ugly..."
Christmas is coming - but he parodies are still good - Here Sainsbury's and the famous WW1 football match gets an updated viewing...
There are other things that get me, and I am sure that more will come to mind as we come up to Christmas.. They are some of the adverts. I do not know the name of the product - so some advertising exec has failed already, but I was shocked an stunned today to hear a hair product advert talking about volumisation of hair ... What !!! Volumisation?? What on earth is that ??
I was shocked and stunned , and turning to Google fully expected to get a googlewack - a complete lack of understanding of the term - I was to be disappointed!
My first hit was the "Volumisation treatments with Restylane"
I am reliably informed that "The Restylane range of Dermal Filters can be used in combination to restore and enhance volume to your facial featuresfor a more youthful appearance"
I also found a page for the Emerval range of products - strangely their website looks very similar and tells me that "The Emerval range of Dermal Filters can be used in combination to
restore and enhance volume to your facial featuresfor a more youthful
appearance" sounds familiar?
And then there are pages of clinical advertising ... So it seems that the word has snuck in under the radar..
We have volumisation at Amazon and Volumisation at Ebay - I despair .. I really do !
Dictionary dot com tells me that the word originated back in 1991 and tells me "toaddvolumeto,asthehair;toenhancethethicknessorbodyof....."
Seems the world just got a sadder place ... Enough to drive you to drink... Bottled the "41" red over the weekend .. But this calls for some special price Whisky from Tesco - £15 a litre.. Cheers
VOLUMISATION TREATMENTS WITH RESTYLANE
Aesthetic
treatment using injectables such as Restylane guarantees a natural,
effective result and is extremely low risk in comparison to surgical
procedures.
Restylane fillers can be used to
restore lost volume to facial features, with a range of products
available, your Restylane trained practitioner will be able to discuss
with you the correct product for your individual treatment plan. The
result? Restored volume and enhanced facial features leaving you with a
more youthful appearance.
- See more at: http://www.restylane.co.uk/Treatments/volumisation-treatments/#sthash.U3NDzdoX.dpuf
The
Restylane range of dermal fillers can be used in combination to restore
and enhance volume to your facial features for a more youthful
appearance. - See more at:
http://www.restylane.co.uk/Treatments/volumisation-treatments/#sthash.U3NDzdoX.dpuf
The
Restylane range of dermal fillers can be used in combination to restore
and enhance volume to your facial features for a more youthful
appearance. - See more at:
http://www.restylane.co.uk/Treatments/volumisation-treatments/#sthash.U3NDzdoX.dpuf
The
Restylane range of dermal fillers can be used in combination to restore
and enhance volume to your facial features for a more youthful
appearance. - See more at:
http://www.restylane.co.uk/Treatments/volumisation-treatments/#sthash.U3NDzdoX.dpuf
Thought for the day: "My wife accused me of being immature... Huh !! I told her to get out of my fort!"
And because I can, and because I am probably the only person in the world who has not see Frozen, nor particularly wants to, and only realised that I know the songs, or at least one of them today ... Here is Maria Scarlett Vlassis with her own rendition ...
Thought for the day: "Parallel lines have so much in common - pity they will never meet!"
After an epic blog yesterday with multiple research topics, and a small confusion because all my search criteria ended up with a gallon of water being 8.25 pounds (US) and apparently 8 pounds for UK, rather than the "old wives tale" tha I remembered form my youth that a gallon of water weighed 10 pounds..
It seem I was wrong.. Or rather - I was right - That is "I" was right, and my "research" was wrong.
I may state that I am not going to go back and change all my calculations form yesterday. However exact I was trying to be, the aim was to imply that the bed was "heavy" which I think I achieved even if my calculations now turn out to be on the short side...
So - to put the record straight ..
What is the weight of a UK Gallon ?? - 10 pounds
Inspired by the kilogram-litre relationship, the imperial gallon was based on the volume of 10 pounds
of distilled water weighed in air with brass weights with the barometer
standing at 30 inches of mercury and at a temperature of 62 °F. In
1963, this definition was refined as the space occupied by 10 pounds of ... well never mind - you get the idea...
This of course was just too obvious for my dear wife who "knew it all before".
I am not sure that she was also aware of the following snippet, which I found while checking her calculations.. and which I am sure will raise the ire of all good anti-europeans and probably Mr Lafarge as well as Prime Minister Hacker.....
The gallon was removed from the list of legally defined primary units of measure catalogued in the EU directive 80/181/EEC,
for trading and official purposes, with effect from 31 December 1994.
Under the directive the gallon could still be used – but only as a
supplementary or secondary unit.
One of the impacts of this directive was that the United Kingdom
amended its own legislation to replace the gallon with the litre as a
primary unit of measure in trade and in the conduct of public business,
effective from 30 September 1995.
And I always thought that they replaced the gallon with the litre at the petrol pump as the price per gallon would make the little wheel roll around so fast that there would be friction that could cause the petrol pumps to ignite....
You learn something every day
But that would not have been in the Encyclopaedia Britannica either - so it is still for sale...
I don't use Google much these days either !!!
Bottled some new Chateau 41 (Red) tonight - feel that I have done something useful with my day.
Thought for the day : "I was going to do another joke about native Americans but I hear they have reservations..."
The very first water bed we tried, many years ago, was more like a water filled li-lo, and certainly resembled the normal jokes about water beds, getting seasick when you try to roll over. My sister had it in her flat in London, and quite sensibly it was placed upon the floor of the basement flat - it had nowhere to drop or fall.
Water beds are filled with water... A lot of it!! and that means a lot of weight.
I tried to work our how much water, and therefore how much weight was in our current waterbed. I imagined a 4 pint carton of milk, which is about the height of the mattress, and decided I could probably get about 12 in a line accross the width of the bed. With two cartons to a gallon, that meant that there would be about 6 gallons in one row of bottles.. With a six foot bed, and each carton about 4 inches long, that would mean about 18 rows of bottles, at 6 gallons to each row, which is 108 gallons. Which is a lot of water!!
Apparently if we are anywhere other than in America who have their own gallons and cannot count, a pint weighs a pound so a gallon weighs 8 pounds. (Americans reckon it is 8.25 pounds but since they use dollars I do not trust them!) So by my ready reckoning, the bed will weigh 108 x 8lbs of water - or 864lbs, which is 36 stone exactly, the weight of a good friend before he started losing weight. Now, a quick search shows me that the British ton is now termed the "long ton" to avoid confusion with the metric tonne which would be 1000 kilograms. So going back to school I recall 2240 pounds, which is 160 stones (which I do not remember), thought about hundred weights and remembered 20 cwt to a ton. And bingo - a cwt was 112 pounds !! So the stone to ton calculation was probably not one that I ever used....
In terms that I could understand, the water weighed just under 8 cwt, a third of a ton...
Of course, estimating by sight for a possible amount of milk bottles, was less accurate than thinking about the bed being 6 ft long, 5 ft wide and 6 inches deep, which worked out to be 23,920 cu inches which translates as 93.4325323 Gallons (Imperial) which weighs 936.4 Pounds a bit more than my estimate - but still about 8 hundredweight...
Let's just face it. When it sprung a leak in the middle of the night it was not going to be something I could just lift up and take into the garden to fix. It was not a big leak. Water beds tend not to have big leaks despite Steptoe and Son ....
The Water Bed - Full Episode
In fact the last time we sprung a leak we bought a replacement mattress, but like fixing a giant bicycle puncture, Susie managed to find the offending seam at a corner and glue it back together with a waterbed repair outfit. It lasted for another 5 years I am glad to say... But the pin prick style leak that normally comes with a water bed is deceptively hard to find - mainly because you cannot just flip the thing over to find where the water is coming from! "Why??" you would have asked.. But now you won't as I have explained the 8 cwt, or third of a ton that is sitting in a foam surround (which is also very wet now), a damp carpet and two pieces of wood that miraculously hold the whole thing of the floor, and the concern about the electric heating pad that goes under the whole mattress keeping it warm....
In fairness, Susie identified that there was a damp patch on her side of the bed last night. The mattress was still full though so we could not be losing much water. We thought we would sleep on it! Literally. ( I think that is the correct use of the word - if not we will discuss the misuse of literally on another occasion).
The morning greeted me with no problems. Not so for my dear wife who found that the tide had come in overnight, and nothing to do with weather bombs and full moons... And so, we started the epic journey that is emptying a water bed. Because you cannot just take it away! (see above re weight). A long hosepipe from the bedroom, down the stairs and out to the front of the house is the first step. Sadly, we do not have any syphoning equipment. Something we are remiss in at 41 !! So having got it ready, a few sucks on the pipe - do not really seem to be helping. Images of slugs sitting in the garden hose, the quality of water, either from the pipe or from the bed did not make the prospect at all appealing. But Susie was up to the job... But it failed. Too much air in the pipe. Too long a stretch of hose.
Attempt 2 - fill the hose from the bathroom tap - fill it up with water and put the thumb on the end when running freely. Holding onto the end and squeezing it into the top of the water bed (it has a cap that looks a little like a lilo) and off the water starts... it is not very fast ...
Half an hour later.. trying to pull the mattress into smaller shape, increasing the depth of water by the hose, we lose the flow and air gets in... Repeat of the procedure and we are off again, me now holding part of the vinyl in the air - holding it against the full weight of (probably 400 pounds now as it was half empty). It was still heavy, and I had to relax the hands every few minutes as I kept the pressure up..
Now, those who do not know modern water beds, you may be imagining that they are filled with water. Well, yes they are, but they also have flotation chambers and reinforced foam to stop the whole thing slopping about and giving you that seasickness that we were talking about earlier... So a point comes when the hose is pushing against foam and not water - and the bed is still very heavy !! But the flow stops!!!
This is when you create the "thing". A cross between Quatermass and a Slinky. The 6 x 5 matress is now half full of water - but you can manhandle it if done slowly and carefully. By pulling the mattress over the edge of the bed, and allowing a little water to flow from one half into the empty lower section, it starts moving like an overgrown slug, taking on a life of its own. Slowly, as more water flows into the lower section the foam innards retain a caterpillar like body shape and slowly, the creature crawls out of the bed to lie amoeboid upon the floor ... Taking my life in my hands I grab one end and roll it over, and it slides and glides towards the stairs where it pauses for a second, as though judging eyelessly the drop, and then like a mud slide from a pit disaster it flowed down the stairs like a demented slinky made of blue "gloop".
On the front door step, it was easier to undo the cap and let the life blood flow from the creature until it lay panting in the slight drizzle of a Welsh morning....
And so, with the demise of our old bed, it made me wonder about water beds...
According to legend, the first water-filled beds were used in Persia more than 3,600 years ago and consisted of goatskins filled with water. No information is known as to why they did this; however some think that it was to comfort the sick and elderly, while others believe it was a bed designed for royalty.
The water bed mattress was introduced to the Western world in the 1800’s, when it was first used in aid of medicine. In 1873, Sir James Paget at St Bartholomew’s Hospital presented a waterbed designed by Neil Arnott as a treatment and prevention of pressure ulcers (bed sores); a condition that was quite common in this era. Paget found that waterbeds allowed mattress pressure to be evenly distributed over the body. Unfortunately, this invention lacked the ability to regulate the temperature of the water.
St Bartholomew's Hosptal
Dr. William Hooper of Portsmouth, England also saw medicinal benefits in waterbeds, specifically with patients suffering from arthritis and rheumatism, and patented his waterbed invention in 1883. Unfortunately, his invention was also a market failure, since he could not come up with a way to properly regulate the temperature or contain the water.
By 1895, a few waterbeds were sold via mail order by the British store, Harrod’s. They looked like (and were probably very similar to) very large hot water bottles. Unfortunately, production was halted due to the lack of suitable materials.
It wasn’t until the invention of vinyl in the 1960’s that waterbeds would once again gain popularity. In 1968, Charles Hall, a design student at San Francisco State University in California, tried to invent the perfect chair. After stuffing his chair design with everything from cornstarch to jello, his failed attempts lead to his developing a bed, which would be much easier to fill and reproduce.
His first waterbed mattress was called ‘the Pleasure Pit’ and it quickly gained popularity with the hippie culture of the 1960’s and 1970’s. By 1987, waterbeds had achieved full-fledged fad status, representing over 22 percent of all U.S. mattress sales.
Today, waterbeds have really come a long way. The variety of bed designs, improved thermal and wave motion controls, and other options like lumbar supports, make it the most versatile of all beds on the market. The hybrid or soft sided water mattress has also gained huge popularity, since it fits on a regular bed frame and looks like a regular mattress, with the difference being that it contains the added advantage of a water core, allowing you to regulate the temperature of your bed, with your choice of different motion or wave control levels, firmness, and lumbar back support.
In fairness, I have always preferred the water bed. It moulds to the body. It is warm (they solved the problem in the end by placing a heating mat below the water). It settles to a level, particularly when two people of different weight share a bed, leaving a comfortable night's sleep. It does not absorb all the detritis, scales of skin and hair that disappear into a normal mattress. It is as firm and comfortable after 5 years or ten years as it was on the first day unlike a standard mattress which starts deteriorating the day you first sleep on it .... Yes I like my water bed...
But the foam surround is still damp and therefore it is standing up against the bedroom wall, next to the radiator trying to dry out fully. Foam has this habit of absorbing water you see. And we don't want to sleep in a damp patch !!!
So, the new water bed mattress will be installed tomorrow. I think that will involve the hose again!! Tonight I have brought a couple of old single mattresses down from the spare room. I do not think I will be able to sleep well on them, and Susie has a slipped disk so I am not expecting a good night's sleep for either of us...
Well, there are solutions.. Glass of 41 I think and a "largie" from the Whiskey Bottle ...
