Sunday, 25 December 2016

25th December 2016 - Happy Christmas

Thought for the day :"Someone threw a bottle of fish oil at me - luckily my injuries were only super fish oil"

So, a morning of lots of presents - and a visit form my mother in her wheelchair proved a bonus for us all. Until we got back to her home of course - when we were faced with the lift being broken. I now find out that it broke yesterday when Erin was inside, but it was workign fine as I left this morning...   So, a bit of a dilemna - except my mother then decided to walk up the stairs like a sprightly 60 year old instead....  I was steadying her from behind - but she did all the work - so a good day for her as well...

Smells of food cooking downstairs - maybe time to start with a little sherry

Meanwhile...
Please be advised that all persons planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
 
Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.
 
While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation shelter, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.
 
Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that EC legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.
 
While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act & Money Laundering Regulations. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.
 
Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without a crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Cheers - hope Santa brought good stuff to you ...


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