5th February 2021 - Some Observations about Brits - from USA

Thought for the day :"I’ve just joined an online internet forum about bridges. It’s full of trolls..."

I saw this Twitter feed today and thought of my sister in the USA.....

People here put fish fingers (yes they mean fish sticks but I’m fine with the name part) in sandwiches which is just...why.

Britishes pronounce “patronise” pat-row-nize but pronounce “patron” in the expected way and this divergence distresses me.

Britishes call their fanciest private schools public schools which is weird and confusing, likely by design.

British beaches are often just banks of sharp stones by the water and people here excitedly go to them on purpose. When you get there you can buy disappointing candy sticks called rock and seagulls will fight you.

They have proms here but they mean outdoor classic music things, not a school dance. Except now sometimes they have school dances called proms. I give up.

Signing “sincerely” in an email means “f888 off”.

Saying “f*** off” in a pub means “I appreciate our friendship” 98% the time and 2% of the time it is a precursor to violence.

There is a mistake at a coffee shop or restaurant British people will complain to everyone but the people who could fix the issue and if asked by those people will report that everything is fine.

On getting off a bus saying thank you to the driver is optional until the person leaving in front of you says thank you. Then you are legally required to say it. So is everyone behind you.

90% of all public conflicts here are queue related. The other more serious 10% are about football or having the right shoes to get into a club.

People get full on arguing mad about the order you assemble breakfast items (when you put milk in when making tea or what you put first on a scone) and it does not matter at all.

If you mention swans to a British person they’ll tell you swans will break your arm and nod knowingly. No other information will be forthcoming on the topic.

Old fashioned candy shops here sell sweets with actively threatening names. Troach drops. Acid drops. Army and Navy tablets. They all taste like sugared houseplants.

Bathroom sink faucets in the UK often have two separate taps for the hot and cold water.

Why?

If you mention a weird dream or nightmare, Britishes will ask if you ate a lot of cheese before going to bed.

Oh god, I almost forgot the round system for drinks.

On its surface, it's a commonly used system where everyone takes turns buying drinks for everyone else in their group but there are a million complex subtleties that make it confusing and delightful.

If you and another person are waiting to be served at a bar, you must each claim that the other person was next in line to be served when approached by staff.

This process may involve several rounds of "No, you"s and is resolved via unknown means.

I know I have lived in Britain for too long as I can now enjoy a room temperature can of soft drink. However, I will never understand coronation chicken as a sandwich filling (curried chicken with sultanas)

May I add for your consideration: washing up bowls in the sink. Like, does your sink not hold water? Why do you need a separate plastic tub in there?

Why is Dog's Dinner a mess and Dog's Bollocks so great ?

British people have rising intonation when they say “bye” on the phone so it’s a bouncy “byYEEE” and why do you people do that?

Please why beans on toast there are so many other lazy foods that are actually good why is this a thing?

Link is to Jessica Rose...  @jesslynnrose

'Thena not well today - not eaten yesterday or today and is taking to crawling into a nest above the veg beds. Strangely the Vet has put her on the same medication that Susie takes for reflux!

Hoping for an improvement soon...  

Susie taking her for a short walk up the lane - I skipped it yesterday as 'Thena did nto seem to have any enthusiasm for anything...

Rained today so we lit the fire and stayed in ...

Oh well - 

Cheers !