Thought for the day: "I have some milk bottle glasses. I think they are pasteurized."
Another day with a splash in the pool, some exercise and a fair amount of pain. Partly due to Delivery firms. Especially delivery firms that are so automated that they will give you the hour that they will attend, and a contact you via a text message to say what they are doing - but who do not accept a different mobile phone number for contact!!
So - let us say - just for example, you wanted to get an urgent delivery of, say, a credit card machine for an event that you are running, and you specify an address where you know that someone is able to take charge of it - because they need it this weekend, but you know that there may be a great big gate in the way because some sites like to keep the place "secure" ... then you will make sure that the company sending said item will know that there are not only one - but two mobile phone numbers on the site that can be contacted - I always used to call it "Belts and Braces". If the Belt fails then the braces will hold the trousers up.
So - we know that it will be between 3pm and 4pm - and DPD is a well established delivery company, and Worldpay are (not the cheapest) but a well established card company who have confirmed the address and the mobile phone details not once - but twice... What could possibly go wrong?
3 minutes past 3pm a text message appears on Susie's phone. I let her know ten minutes later as she comes into the room - not connecting in my mind that her phone number may be associated with the old business - which currently requires a credit card machine... "we are sorry to tell you that there was no-one available to sign for your package and it is being returned to the depot.."
Meanwhile - an email comes in showing ... well - let me show you !!!
Okay - this is quite efficient - it will tell me why they have not delivered..
Anyone who has been to the Vale or any event at Huntley Wood will know the big locked gates. All the locals are used to them - if you get a pizza delivered it gets to the BIG LOCKED GATES and then you phone your contact details ....
Oh - the email gives the option of going onto the website to get more details.. The more details are that there is a better picture of a BIG LOCKED GATE
But if you hunt hard enough you can find a contact link - so - only being 15 minutes form the drop - which was scheduled between 3pm and 4pm - and having 3/4 hour before the "window" closed, I managed to find a contact number for DPD. Sadly not a free number. In fact an 0845 which Sky Free Phone options charges extra to use - but no time to use SAYNOTO0850.com this time.. I get hold of the courier....
And - half an hour later we establish that the driver has finished his run and is returning to depot - regardless of where he may be, and will not return to the site. Apparently - according to DPD they have no extra phone numbers to call - tried one on the gate ( allegedly) and returned.
Oh - they will try again on Monday !!
Since we are only there over the weekend this is a little worrying !! And useless...
If we want to pay extra - then we can redirect for a further delivery tomorrow - Saturday - but I know that the gates will be locked again - so I ask if we can confirm that he will call the mobile phone number to get access.. But - it seems that DPD drivers are not issued with Mobile phones so there is no guarantee that they will call anyone. So - As I get this right.. I can pay a premium to get a delivery on a Saturday to a locked gate where the driver will not contact anyone to open the gate and therefore take it back to the depot - otherwise - they will try to deliver it on Monday - to a locked Gate, and Tuesday - to a locked gate - and then return the item to the sender .....
So - as an alternative - I say, can we forget this weekend - but there will be no-one there on Monday - so can we deliver to another address where there will be someone available to receive and sign for the package - that will be to a domestic address up north.... No !
For security reasons - only the sender can divert a package. While part of me understands that this is actually good practise.... the rest of me is getting frustrated as Friday is drifting away..
So, they will not cancel the delivery and return to Worldpay - will not divert - and can let me collect on Monday or re-deliver to the same address on Monday ....
I try the online - since I have the tracking information and the pass codes - I wonder if I can re-direct that way ... Nope - I can ask for a deliver to the same address on Monday or Tuesday ...
Seems the only option is to contact Worldpay as they are the sender - and therefore accordingly to DPD they are the only ones who can cancel the delivery or change the address...
I do not think I will get that hour of my life back ....
Worldpay - 6 options on the phone and delays on all off them - 23 minutes later listening to some Musak - I wish I had a speaker phone - hurting my broken arm as I hold the phone to an ear... and get through to a "Customer Advisor" - explain my problem ... It seems that I need Technical support even though it is not technical - and they pass me through and lose the connection. I try again and after a shorter wait - I pressed 4 for technical support this time, I explain my problem ..
To me it is simple:
You cannot deliver to the given address - therefore please contact DPD
I need the machine - so can you redirect delivery to a new address - they will only take this from you.
If you cannot do this - please cancel delivery so that you can send to a new address
Either way - I have given up with delivery for this weekend - which will cost me money - but need it desperately for next weekend for a Market event which will require credit card transactions..
I hit the brick wall :
"if it was not delivered today - do not worry - they will try twice more before returning"
"but they will not deliver on a Saturday"
"Yes they deliver on a Saturday - and then will try Monday"
"I have been on the website and talked to DPD - they will not send on a Saturday unless I pay a premium charge by credit or debit card (!!) and if they do they will not use a mobile phone to contact the receiver to get through the BIG LOCKED GATE ... Can you just cancel"
"No - we cannot cancel - we have to wait until they have tried three times and then they will return it"
"But then I will not get a card machine before I am trading next weekend - so will lose two weeks trading"
"We cannot do anything about that - Anyway - we cannot send to an address that is not on the account"
"But you just have!"
"No - it is not possible - w only send to the address on the account - in your case (home address)"
"Then how do you account for my query about them trying to get through the BIG LOCKED GATE!
you have it in transit already to another address - and I was happy with that until you failed to give the contact details that you agreed to send with the dispatch"
"well we have the two phone numbers on our records - but we do not deal with dispatch so cannot tell if the numbers were included on the delivery details..."
"Okay !!! Can you send me a new machine out so I can have it before the weekend ?"
"No - we cannot do anything until the other machine is returned to us"
"then why can you not cancel the delivery so it comes back on Monday and you can send to me on Tuesday "
"DPD will try to deliver three times before they return the item"
"But there is a BIG LOCKED GATE - and we will not be there on Monday and Tuesday - then the weekend will have gone before you can get me a machine"...
20 minutes later ...
"Can you give me the number of whomever I need to speak to to cancel my contract - I need a credit card machine by Friday and I will have to cancel with you ..."
"hello - my name is Amanda - I work in Customer Loyalty department - is there a problem ..."
" !!!!!! "
2 hours of my life I will not get back again ..
It seems - that to maintain my custom - they will send out a new terminal but only to my home address - the one on the account - as they NEVER EVER send to anywhere else. !!! Remeber the BIG LOCKED GATE ?? I do !
I will then have to send via Royal Mail to the address where it is required...
They will immediately cancel the current delivery (I though they said that they could not do this - but ho hum) which is a bit of a relief as I could just see some innocent bystander signing for the package on Wednesday leading to me being responsible for returning it .... ( Ithough myu problem earlier was that they could not do this - so this is a bonus - I think!!)
But, this weekend, for all those at the VALE - behind the BIG LOCKED GATE... the reason that we are not taking tabs and credit cards is because of DPD and Worldpay and the niceties of what can and cannot be done - and the lesson is - DPD - let your drivers use a mobile phone to contact the receiver...- Worldpay - send the contact details .... Everyone - lets try for a solution - not every situation is standard..
It does not impress me that you can tell me that you cannot deliver in five different ways - send me a picture of a BIG LOCKED GATE and text me - if you are unwilling to try to sort the problem out..
Rant over - unless you want me to start talking about MEAD deliveries - speak to my mate from Lancashire Mead - or my friends in Cornish Meads... that is another story !
[Reaches for a bottle of Chateua 41 - and breathe ]